The piece on which I’m working at the moment has reached that annoying stage when you’re pretty clear that it is not yet finished but not exactly certain about what it is that needs to be done. I have a feeling that somewhere around the middle of the composition is a rather dead spot which, precisely because of its deadness, attracts too much notice (if that makes sense.) I’m terrified that if I rush in and start messing about with it I will only make it worse, and I really do not want to ruin this picture because on the whole I believe that it is fairly good.
My response to the situation has been to get on with an unrelated task. In fact, I’ve been sorting out and conserving some family memorabilia, as a part of my general, long-term tidying-up project. This has been rather interesting, actually, and I am pleased with the finished product. I have been working on the top of one of the plan-chests in which I archive some of my work, and this is positioned right next to the easel. This has enabled me to keep casting sneaky sideways glances at my picture, giving me the opportunity to continue thinking about it, while ensuring that I am sufficiently engaged with something else to prevent me from meddling with it. I feel that I have to pretend that I am not looking, for some reason, and it is important that the picture doesn’t actually realise that I am doing so. Only if I catch it in an unselfconscious frame will I be able to seize that vital bit of information I’m hoping for.
Am I really the only artist who plays these games?