Something happened this morning which I can never remember happening before. I reached the decision that I am simply not capable of undertaking the task I had set myself.
Of course, it is a relatively normal experience that one decides that a pice of work, on completion, is disappointing. It has also been the case that, after working on a picture for some time, I reached the decision that the original concept was less interesting than originally it seemed to be. This is different.
I have been working on an idea for a couple of weeks now, off and on, but this morning I came to the realisation that I do not have the technical ability to bring it to a conclusion in a condition which I might want to show to anybody else. The idea, as originally conceived, is just beyond my capabilities. I had bitten off more than I could ever chew.
At first I drove myself on, thinking that my doubts were no more than cowardice. Then the truth began to sink in. My original idea, although perhaps interesting, demanded a technical capacity which I do not possess. What its more, I am unwilling (and perhaps unable) to make the investment which could bring me close to the standard I would find acceptable.
A part of me is sad about this, because this project came as a relief after a fallow period in which I had been searching for an idea on which to work. I am sure, however, that my decision is the product of good dense rather than cowardice. Well …. where to now?
Hello John, I am sorry to hear that your idea has not come to fruition.
Have you decided on an image for your Christmas card this year? That might be a good project to consider as it’s fast approaching!
I’m missing you and Elspeth so I’ll try to pop by sometime.
Lynrose