It happens rarely, if ever. I have decided to abandon a picture when already well-embarked on it. Instead of struggling through, attempting to correct something that is evidently not working, last night I couldn’t sleep, and decided at about 3.30 am. to make the inevitable step of abandoning this attempt and start all over again. It simply was not “right”, and no amount of fiddling about was ever going to get to the original conception I had.
Of course, I know that this was the right thing to do, but I do find this a terribly difficult decision to make a an artist. There have been occasions in the past when I have been extremely reluctant to permit myself to recognise that this attempt is actually a dead loss. Let it go. Start all over again! The instructive part of the experience is that, having made this decision, I feel entirely convinced that it was the right one. I do wonder how many artists find this to be a real struggle.
The new attempt will need to be postponed until after the week-end, however, because one of my sons and his family are staying with us. Preparing the meal tonight offered one sensational experience. As I was working in the kitchen I was listening to a Miles Davis record. My five-year old grandson came in, and immediately responded to the situation, both imitating the trumpet, and dancing to the music. It was a perfectly magical moment. He is very responsive to the arts. Some time ago we visited the Yorkshire Sculpture Park together, and his response to the work was really quite startling. It would be nice to think that in some respects he follows in his grandfather’s footsteps.