I know it had to happen sooner or later, but things have come crashing to a standstill. The past two months have been very creative and productive in a variety of ways, but suddenly I’ve run out of steam. Because of the current isolation requirements (although these are gradually being relaxed) it isn’t feasible to switch tracks as I might normally do, and throw myself into administrative activities such as correspondence with possible exhibiting venues. I just have to acknowledge the fact that I have run out of track for the time being.
This is always an uncomfortable moment for any artist, although it is a situation which, over time, one comes to anticipate and recognise for what it is. That doesn’t make it any easier to cope with in the event. The problem might have been made easier by the opportunity to switch into writing mode, which I do enjoy. The trouble is that, having begun a piece I discovered very soon that I was working on very questionable assumptions and will have to think it out again before making any further progress. To make matters worse, the prolonged fine weather means that the soil in the garden is currently very intractable, and I have to defer some tasks there into which it would have been nice to divert my energies. As a consequence I have to acknowledge that I am probably not the best of company at the moment …. as my poor wife will tell you.
I think that the centre of the problem lies in the fact that the lack of activity in my artistic life involves much more than mere idleness. It strikes very much at something close to the core of what I am supposed to be and do. It will pass, as it has on previous occasions, but as any drunkard will tell you, the fact that you have had a bad hangover before doesn’t reduce the headache this time around.