I’m going through a phase I always seem to experience when I get back to doing my own work, following some kind of interruption, however creative or enjoyable that might have been. The experience resembles that of a drag-racer at the start of the race. The wheels are spinning frantically and there is a great deal of smoke and noise, but precious little movement forward. I have managed to lay the foundations for a drawing I had in mind before I went away on the ikon-painting course, but progress has been slow and any achievement seems to have involved quite inordinate effort. At least I know that this is “normal”, and I hope that things will settle down.
I wonder if this is a peculiar characteristic of artists, because I don’t remember a similar phase when I returned from a break when I was working as an academic. Perhaps in the latter case there was a well-defined framework of expectations laid down from the outside, particularly with the teaching programme. In relation to my current situation as a painter there are not those clear external points of reference.
One encouraging little event today has made things brighter. We enjoyed the first of our home-grown rhubarb at dinner tonight.