I have been feeling rather dissatisfied with myself of late, because of a sense that I had achieved little during the past year. Then, as I sat down after dinner and reflected on this it occurred to me that my impression of inertia and inactivity was quite misplaced. We are in the middle of November, and when I got my log-book down from the shelf and leafed through it I realised that, if I reckoned from a starting-point of last November, I have actually achieved quite a bit.
It is true that there was a frustrating gap between the completion of my “Green Man” project, in the New Year, and the welcome stimulus given to my art by the ikon-painting course I went on in July. The Green Man stuff, however, is an achievement with which I’m quite satisfied (it will be exhibited next year in Lincoln Cathedral) and since July I have actually kept pretty well occupied. I’m particularly gratified by the things I’ve managed to do with egg tempera. Some things have been a bit of a struggle, but if nothing else there is a piece I might well put in for the annual exhibition of the Pastel Society.
It is very easy to become immersed in temporary feelings, and to allow the frustrations of the immediate present to occupy the whole horizon. Placing these shorter-term experiences in their context, however, can be a very valuable exercise. I’m afraid that artists and people who share a similar work situation (like writers) are probably prone to this difficulty in putting the short-term into a longer-term context. I must try to remember to do that more often.