I have to admit that I am tired …. and I don’t think that the cause is a strenuous game of Scrabble. sey day has been divided otherwise between standing in front of an easel, getting stuck in (at last!) to a new picture, and wrestling with the web-sites of the National Gallery and the Tate. We are planning one of our periodic raids on London in a couple of weeks’ time, and it makes obvious sense to make reservations for gallery visits where these are likely to be very busy. (The Cezanne exhibition is an obvious case for an advanced booking.) Why on earth, however, do booking websites need to be so intimidating? I really don’t see why I should have to become a “member” of a gallery in order to book a ticket to visit it, with all the paraphernalia of passwords and such. Given my perennial state of semi-panic about these experiences I really do have to take my courage in both hands in order to buy my tickets. At the end of an hour of this stuff I’m wrung out. I could swear that the emotional and physical effort involved is on a par with six hours of creative work.
I must say, however, that it is immensely encouraging to be actively engaged with painting again, after such a fallow period. The photo session I spent with friends the other day has paid off, however, and I’m hopeful that something useful will emerge. It is rather disconcerting to find that I have become so hesitant and tentative as a result of this time in which I have not been working consistently. My hope is that this will pass as I get into it again. The thing that struck me was the fact that I seem to be resorting more than usual to the use of pastel pencils instead of the proper pastel sticks, and making much more tentative marks. Having spotted the situation, however, I hope that I can address it, and get back to a more normal manner of working.